A New Home

I'm moving the blog on over to Wordpress.  Hopefully this doesn't inconvenience anyone.  Time to try something different.
the new URL is http://randomactsofjake.wordpress.com/

BHC and WWI

Mood: Reflective
Listening To: Silence
Word of the Day: BHC

Cross posted with:  http://snowstones.com/snowstones-wp/wwii-and-british-home-children/

As you may...or may not be aware, today marks the 100th Anniversary of World War I, the supposed war to end all wars. I spent the majority of my day at an event honouring the fallen soldiers. More specifically the fallen soldiers who were also British Home Children. If you are unfamiliar with what a British Home Child is, I encourage you to do some research.

And while I have no relatives who were BHC, I had 4 Great Uncles who served in WW1. 3 of them never came home. I pay tribute to them today as well.

In Memory of 

                            Captain Benjamin McDiarmaid b.  20 Feb 1889 d. 30 Sep 1918    
                            

Private Duncan David McDiarmaid b. 31 Jul 1891 d. 10 Jul 1917

Private James McDiarmaid b. 7 Apr 1886 d. 26 Sep 1916 (no image)

May we learn peace from remembering the fallen. Lest We Forget.

As I mentioned, I spent a majority of my day at an event commemorating the 100th anniversary of the war.  The main focus was the opening of the British Home Children exhibit, which will be going until December 2015.  The exhibit is taking place at Black Creek Pioneer Village located in the North West area of Toronto, Ontario.

Guest speakers included a 91 year old British Home Child who arrived in Canada in 1911 at the age of 10. He shared with us some of his story.  He was one of the lucky ones, who was placed in a good home and found happiness in his transition.  Mr. Beardshaw served in World War II

Don Cherry, Co-Host of Hockey Night in Canada's Coach's Corner.  Mr. Cherry is a descendant of a British Home Child, and it was an honour hearing him speak, and having him share his own views on the forced emigration of so many children.







Something important to remember, is that even though most of these children felt, and rightly so, that their home had abandoned them, they still stood up, and enlisted in the CEF, and the Australian Forces to serve and protect.

Of the  10,000 enlisted Men and Boys who were British Home Children, living or having lived as indentured servants in Canada, 1035 died as a result of service.  And those are just the ones that we know about.  Many who were boys, lied either intentionally or unwittingly on their Attestation papers so they could sign up.  Many had the hopes of being reunited with loved ones back home. 

This exhibit strives to finally give a voice to those who were forgotten.  Those who were sent over hear as scared children to be all but slaves.  Many had no family back home.  Many died without anyone to grieve for them, or waiting for news of them from the front.  Families were ripped apart.  Orphans were sent 1000's of miles from their homes, alone, by ship across the treacherous North Atlantic.  Many never survived even that journey.  But they now have a voice.  They have people who have researched their lives.  Found missing links.  Grieved for them.  May they know peace.

23 and Anger

No, I'm not angry with Michael Jordan.  And, if I said what was so significant about the number 23, it would end up hurting someones feelings.  And while I'm in uber anger mode, I'm not angry enough to just spit raw verbage out.

23, it may not seem like a significant thing.  It certainly won't make any sense to anyone that reads this.  But, if I don't at least vent in some small way, I'm likely to lose my cabbage and say things that I really shouldn't.

I'm past caring about certain things.  I'm past still having feeling and emotion towards others.  It's rather a very dangerous place for me to be.  Not dangerous as in life threatening or violence ensuing.  Dangerous in that I'm almost to the point of just stopping.

23

Bright lights

Mood: Moody
Listening To: Tarja Turunen - Into the Sun
Word of the Day: Momentous

I don't know why I chose that as the word of the day, I can't say anything truly momentous happened.  Merely a few things that reinforced that I may be looking down the right path.

A most interesting proposal came my way this week.  A door that I had previously thought closed for good, has started to open.  I don't want to get my hopes up too much, in case it doesn't open all the way.   There's variables that need to come into play in the positive for everything to work out.  But if they do, I'm going to jump in with both feet.  I know it's really vague what I'm writing, but life has this habit of taking what I'm hoping for out loud, and snatching it away.  However, I also believe I need to get my intent out to the universe, and that is in fact what I'm doing.

On a completely unrelated note, I really like this singer's voice.  I'm big into the operatic metal/goth metal/orchestral metal.  She was the lead singer of Nightwish apparently.  I may have to look for their older stuff.  I watched a video with the young lady that replaced Tarja, and wasn't overly impressed.  Too poppy for my taste.  I love female vocalists who have powerful voices and big range.  Amy Lee and Cristina Scabbia are two of my favourite vocalists.  Add their range to heavy guitar riffs and a great drum kit, and I'm lost for hours.

This music is just what I needed after the last week.  With the ups there were many downs.  Huge tribulations abounded and my tech support abilities were put the test.  However, I can now happily say, I can program a Harmony remote without being in the same room...hell, the same city.  I will never again suggest a Harmony to someone who doesn't have at least a basic understanding of...at least a smartphone.  Harmony makes a great product, but more and more, I'm finding that the "easy" technologies are quite above a large part of the CE consumer base.

I managed to land a nice little 2 channel system this week.  I had to fight hard for it, but I won out in the end with the lowest quote.  A nice pair of Bowers and Wilkins CM9's, and ASW610 sub with an Anthem MRX510.  Also did some follow up this week, and the Home Theatre I designed a few months ago, should be ready for installation in about 3 weeks.  The contractor overseeing the build has been a nightmare, and moves slower than a snail through molasses. 

I think I'm going to let the lovely Metal Goddess sing me to sleep very soon.  Have a great weekend!

The Pie

Mood: Happy
Listening To: Bird's Singing
Word of the Day: It's Still Pie

As promised in the last post, I would move on to the pie.  I had to wait for Strawberries to arrive so I could finish the filling.  I figured I needed a whole pint of berries, but didn't quite need that much, so the kids are happy that there's extras.

Alright, so on to Part 2 of the experiment.  It's been about 27 years since I set out to bake a pie...if not actually longer. Rhubarb was one one of my favourite summer treats growing up.  Paternal Grandma's farm had a huge crop of it each year, so all summer long, we'd be picking it and taking it in for pie.  At that time, Strawberries were for jam or ice cream, so when we had Rhubarb pie, it literally was just Rhubarb.  I've grown fond of Strawberry Rhubarb pie since then, and decided that that's what I was going to make.  In the previous post, we took care of the crust.

Let's finish off the pie.

Ingredients for Filling:
3 Cups Rhubarb, chopped into 1/4-1/2 inch cubes
2 1/2 Cups Strawberries, Capped, Cored and Quartered
1/2 Cup Golden Sugar
1/2 Cup Sugar
1/4 Cup Corn Starch
1 Tsp Cinnamon
1/4 Tsp Salt
1 Egg, beaten

In your mixing bowl, that I'm sure you cleaned while letting the pastry chill, you're going to combine all but the egg, leaving a Tablespoon of sugar aside for use later.

Once you've mixed everything thoroughly, pour it all into the bottom crust.

Remember that ball of dough we had chilled?  Time to roll it out.  I had a cheater board that told me when I'd reached a 9" diametre. 

Time to put the top on.  Pinch the edges, and trim the extra crust off.  Alternately you could do a lattice-work style top but cutting strips with a pizza cutter and carefully placing them.  As I was working on helping with dinner too, I chose the quick route.  Make sure you vent the top somehow.  I took a fork and went around in circle poking holes, then made a starburst pattern in the centre. LOL  Brush the top crust with the egg we had beaten earlier, and sprinkle the rest of the sugar over top.

Start the baking process at 425 degrees for 25 minutes, turn the oven down to 350 degrees at this point, and continue baking for another 30, or the crust is nice and golden brown.  Make sure you put something under the pie plate otherwise you'll end up with a mess on the bottom of your oven.

Serve warm with Vanilla Ice Cream and Enjoy!

First Edible Rhubarb of the Season

Mood: Excited
Listening To: Learn to Fly - Foo Fighters
Word of the Day: Pie!

That's right, Pie is the word of the day, not for some lame reason like it's March 14.  And for the record, a lot of the world writes dates with the day first, so that really doesn't work noobs.  LOL
I'm mean, and happy all at the same time.

We chopped down the Rhubarb from the first growth about a month ago.  Someone in the house believes that the first crop is always too bitter.  I acquiesced and have been patiently waiting for it all to regrow.  I pulled out my mom's old very worn down cookbook, and found her pastry recipe, which I'll admit, I had to modify a bit, I think because of the climate...not sure.  It brought back so many good memories looking through that book, reading her familiar handwriting.  Apparently 4 1/2 years is the time that was needed for me to be able to do that. LOL  First memories of my paternal Grandma making pies (it was originally her pastry recipe), then my mom making lasagna, because of course her recipe for that was in there too.  And then the accursed Sweet and Sour Meatball recipe.  It was a running joke for a number of years, that she made them at least once a week, and I was all Sweet and Sour Meatballed out.  She was pretty close to making them once a week, and I did eventually get kinda sick of them, but maybe someday I'll be able to break down, and try that recipe again.

I am going to have sit down very soon, and transcribe all her recipes.  The pages are fading, and she wrote a lot of them in pencil.  I'm sad I didn't find my grandmother's Mince Meat recipe, but I did find her Fruitcake and Shortbread recipes, and of course, my beloved Oatmeal Chocolate Chip recipe.  Those must be saved for future generations at all cost, just as this simple pastry recipe needed to be saved.

Speaking of this recipe, lets get down to it, it really is easy.  The Pie Filling will follow in a subsequent post.

Ingredients:
3 Cups All Purpose Flour
1 1/2 Teaspoons Salt
1 Cup Shortening
10-13 Tablespoons Cold Water
1 T-Cup Coffee

Start by combing your Flour and Salt in the mixing bowl.  Stir these together with a fork, to get it good and blended.  

 

Cube the shortening, and add it to the bowl.

Using 2 knives, cut the pastry, until it becomes "crumb like"

 

Add water, 1 Tablespoon at a time, until it's moist enough to stick together.

Once you've achieved the right consistency, form the pastry into a ball, and roll it out.  Don't stress if it breaks apart a bit on you, you're going to be pressing it into place in a moment. It also doesn't have to be perfectly round before you put it in the pie plate.  This is a Virgo talking...it does NOT have to be perfectly round. LOL

Press the down into the bottom and sides of the pie plate, trim off all the excess.  Reform the extra and roll it back into a ball, wrap both the pie plate and the ball in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 20 minutes.

In conclusion, if you were wondering why I put coffee in the ingredients list, it's because while you're waiting for your crust to chill, you deserve a cuppa. :)

Visualization

Mood: Psuedo Relaxed
Listening To: Alberta Bound - Paul Brandt
Word of the Day: Visualize

Layne's been house planning.  We're all trying to work on visualization towards goals.  Our big goal, is to move somplace where we can all be happy.  I've got 2 places that would make me extremely happy to live.  One is Northern Georgia.  Which is weird because I vowed I'd never live in the US again, but something about the area just really spoke to me when we first started talking about moving away from Stepford (a fitting nickname for where we currently reside)
The other is Alberta...more specifically near the mountains in Alberta.  Layne is currently designing the house she wants to build for her, Marcus, and the kids, and a seperate cabin for me.  So, in that spirit, I'm going to get in the mood and put down my ideas here.
The land that's being considered is 21 acres, mountain views, trees, a river.  It's a dream.  Literally and Figuratively.  Hence, visualization.  What helps, is that this is the first time in the history of...well history, that Marcus has indicated where his soul is drawn to live.  Alberta is a huge part of our pasts.  I spent most of my formative years there, then went back after I'd "de-formed" to get grounded again.  In all 18 of my 42 years of life were spent there, Stepford is the second longest I've ever lived anywhere, and it's made us miserable almost since we got here.

Ok, enough random babble, time to get serious.

Layne and I are both visualizing a Log Cabin for me.  Open floor plan, with a bedroom at the back.  She however doesn't dream nearly as big for my cabin as I do, so I'm going to jot some ideas down here.

I want a lot of natural light.  Instead of a second floor for this cabin, I'd do high vaulted ceilings with big windows to maximize how much light comes in.  I'm not sure if I want an attached garage, or something separate.  I've always dreamed of having a shop to rebuild old cars, so it might be more practical to have something separate.   I like the idea of a rock garden as you walk up to the front door.  A variety of plants that bloom throughout the season, with a few shrubs, and a tree or two.

The front definitely needs a porch with an over hang so I can sit out there in the rain, with a swing and a couple of rockers.  I want Pot Lighting instead of traditional wall mounted sconces.  The front door has got to have screens, so I can leave the door open and let the fresh air circulate through the house better.
 

While on the subject of decks, I just found one for the back off the bedroom that I like.  Just thinking about sitting out there, drinking my morning coffee makes me happy.

So, inside now.  Again, it's going to be more of an open concept design with the kitchen and living room taking up the front of the house, then the bedroom in the back.  I'm wondering at this point, if I shouldn't also plan for a guest room if I have family come up...more to ponder.

As I mentioned I want a lot of natural light, so that second story is going to be dedicated to peaked roofs and tall window in those peaks, as well as windows on the first story walls.  It obviously has look spectacular as well, so I can't over do it.  The idea in my head, is if I want to close the curtains at night in the living room or bedroom, the high windows remain open so I can see the stars, or the northern lights if they're going on.  

Hardwood flooring (I'm really stuck on hardwood for some reason) with a big oversized Persian Rug in the seating area.  A couple of big oversized armchairs and a couch, and a stone fireplace.  I'm trying to figure out if I want the Fireplace to be somewhat of a divider between the kitchen and the living room, or if it should be on one of the exterior walls with a big window above it.  Which also leads to the next fireplace question, Natural Gas or Wood Burning?  I've lived in houses with both.  Wood Burning is a lot messier, but I love them...I have no clue.  LOL  Natural Gas is probably the better way to go.  The stone could still go all the way to the ceiling, but I could put a window in it...do I need a window?  Who lets me design shit?

Is this too Over the Top?

The kitchen doesn't need to be overly fancy, but it has to be functional.  Not that I expect to be hosting dinner parties every night, and do I need a small dining area?  This started out as a very simple idea and now it's growing.  I think in my head, I've already decided that I want to have a backyard area with a firepit, and if I put a deck off the kitchen, maybe with foldaway screens, I could put a harvest table out there, and have everyone over to eat.  I miss cooking, but it makes me sad now, and I have no idea why.  Another issue to work through.  Ok, moving on.

I saw that kitchen, and thought YEAH!  Like that.  The rational part of my mind of course says that's a little extravagent for my needs, but then I look at it and it's perfect.  A marble or polished stone top island would be great for prep work.  Cupboard space for dry goods and pans and stuff underneath it.  I think that picture has a Microwave, 2 freezer drawers and 2 ovens.  I can definitely count that down to one of each.  Maybe I should build the stove top right into the island.  If we go with the flow of that kitchen then around the outside of it could be a halfwall, part of which could be an eating bar.

For the bedroom, I already have my bedroom set which I'm not giving up.  It's pine and perfect for a more rustic setting.  Lots of light again, meaning a lot of windows.

And if this side of the house could be facing the mountains, even better.
A door will lead out to that small patio area I mentioned earlier, and, again, if it's the side facing the mountains, I'll be in heaven.

There should be a master bath attached to this room.  Another dream of mine, and a must have is a bathtub that I can actually stretch out in.  I'm over 6ft tall, and yes short people, I know I should be happy to have height so I can reach things, however, being a giant isn't all it's cracked up to be, and we have just as many complaints as you do.  Back on subject.  This would probably be the only room where I didn't leave the walls natural.  I'm thinking about steam and humidity and what it does to exposed wood.  I could be wrong.  Something like this... or...this...

Yes, it might be a tad extravagent, but I really like it. LOL  not very rustic though is it.  I don't think I'd do the marble or faux marble, whatver they're using.  I'd use a laminate to at least give it the look of wood.  I love the concept of a large walk in shower, with a bench.  The other concept I had, is it acting as a steam room too, and having a sauna built in.  Whichever way I go, there will be a large window right beside the tub so I can look out while relaxing.  Did I mention the tub would have Jacuzzi jets?

 The backyard would be really simple.  I already mentioned a deck off the kitchen.  It would definitely be covered with retractable screen panels.  Out from there would be a stone patio with a large firepit and happy plush seating, or maybe a stone bench, I haven't decided yet.







I'm visualizing the back yard being surrounded by forest.  A stone wall around the perimeter might not be a bad idea, but I don't want to keep, Elk, Moose and Deer away.
And that's it, that's my "little, simple" cabin in the woods.

Ciao for now.

New Toys

We had some toys arrive today.  New tech is always fun to play with.  To my surprise,  I got a new tablet, which im very grateful for.  It's alot easier to lug around.  Still trying to get used to it and setting it up with everything I want to have on it.

Mood: feeling blessed.  Happy Beltaine!

31 Day Challenge - Earliest Childhood Memory

The earliest thing I can remember is a doctor's room, with a blue scale by the window.  My mom said I couldn't possibly remember that, since I would have been less than a year old.  *shrug*
I also remember the stairs in our first house, and trying hard to go up them to get to the dog at the top of the stairs.

Manifestation

Saw this, really liked it, so I'm putting it here as a reminder.

31 Day Challenge #3

Question 3
Meaning of your business name. 
I don't own my own business.  However the one I work for has it in it's name.  We sell Audio Video products.

Just another silly querk.

Mood: Glad to be home
Listening To: Can`t really tell, as it`s playing in the other room, but it`s nice.
Word of the Day: Scramble

So, the week at work has been challenging.  During the week it was fairly horrendous sales wise, but the weekend really changed that.  Which was fantastic.  Aside from being a selling machine, I was also a manual labour machine.  I have height and upper body strength, which means...aside from being able to reach the clock (family joke), I can stack things, and manhandle heavy boxes.
But man, am I tired.  I refuse to ever admit I'm getting older, but my body doesn't always agree with that sentiment.
And, being the stubborn person I was born to be, I refuse to show weakness, or pain to others.  It's a stupid pack mentality I'm sure, left over in my DNA from bygone era where the weakest of the group got left behind.  Or that wolfish side of me.  I'm not sure which.  It's a stupid thing, I know this. Which is why, after a full day of it yesterday, I asked for help.  Any who know me, would be shocked, but really,  I need to get over my Superman attitude.  Aside from the obvious super powers, and not living in a comic book (which would be amazing) I'm nothing like Supes.  I'm more of a mix between Green Lantern (alas, no power ring, so no powers) and Batman.  I'm definitely a brooder.  Now, if only I could acquire the wealth of Bruce Wayne...still, if I was a millionaire, playboy, philanthropist, I think I'd rather be Tony Stark. He's waaay cooler.
Wow, I took a post about pain and turned it into a Superhero post.  Now that's random. :)

31 Day Challenge - 20 Facts About Me

Fail on doing this properly.  It's been a couple of days since my first post in this challenge.  Ah well, better late than never, and it's been a week of challenges.  So, here's day 2.

1. Hair Colour - Brown with streaks of silver (I refuse to call it grey)
2. Eye Colour - Brown for the most part, unless I'm angry, then they lighten.
3. Job - Sales for an independent audio video specialty retailer.
4. Age - 41
5. Mental Age - 21
6. Birth Town - Chicago Heights, Illinois, USA
Gosh this is harder than it first appeared.
7. Favourite Band - Lacuna Coil
8. Favourite Food - Pizza
9. Last time I laughed - 3 hours ago
10. Last time I cried - Last night
11. Favourite Colour - Green
12. Favourite Superhero - Marvel: Iron Man DC: Green Lantern
13. Favourite Number - 13
14. Grew up in multiple locations across N. America.
15. First job was cleaning computer tapes the summer before I turned 14.
16. Spent 2 summers clearing 20 acres of trees to make room for grazing animals.
17. I can drive both Standard and Automatic transmissions.
18. I used to be scared of clowns but a certain 7 year old cured me of that.
19. I get extremely upset when my routine is thrown off.
20. I can play Trumpet, Saxophone, Piano and Accordian.

Amazing Grace

The Day of Greatest Change

Mood: Somber
Listening To: Amazing Grace
Word of the Day: There are no words.

26 years ago, my father passed away in our home.  I had just woken up for school, starting to mentally prepare to face the day when a crash happened.  I sat stunned unable to move, dreading what it was, knowing what it was.
My father had broken his leg a month before, and unbeknownst to us, a blood clot had been slowly working its way up his leg.  We had no idea the bruise on his thigh was what was going to kill him.  That crash and my mother's wail when she opened the door and found him will always be with me.  I still couldn't move.
Disbelief set in first.  Disbelief that a man I had grown to despise was dead.  He was the hardest man I've ever met.  Borderline cruel.  Mentally abusive, verbally abusive, and he was dead.  The coroner said it was instantaneous, and I believe him.  It happened so quickly.  There was no way to bring him back, the clot had destroyed his heart. 
Then guilt kicked in.  Guilt that I had hated him, guilt that I didn't know he was going to die.  Guilt that I'd fought back with words and anger so many times.
Then the numbness kicked in.  The lack of emotion that descended upon me was...I don't even know how to describe it.  I guess it was shock.  I had to keep going.  Everyone told me I had to be strong, and support my mother, and man up.  I couldn't show grief outwardly, it wasn't the male thing to do.

When we were getting ready for the funeral, I remember my Grandfather standing in our En Suite.  We were all leaving from my house.  He cut himself shaving.  A man whose hands had always been steady and sure, wasn't steady and sure.  I had to be strong for him too.  I was the one who always had to be strong.  But no one was there to be strong for me.  At 15, I had already taken up the mantle of the one that helped and steadied people.  The elders in the family expected me to help care for them.  And that was before my dad had died.

My mom's sister.  My favourite Aunt came up, and she was the first one to say that it was bullshit that I had to be strong.  But I didn't believe her.  I faced it all with a stone face and a stone heart.  I didn't allow myself to shed a tear for years.  My mom was in deep shock for 4 years.  Numb as I was, but not able to function as well.  I picked up the pieces and kept everything together.  Anyone needed anything, it was my job to ensure it was dealt with.
When she got sick a few years later, it fell to me to do all the home care.  I dropped out of college, and dealt.  For 22 years I dealt, until she passed.

I have love around me, and I wasn't alone in caring for my mom in the last 9 years of her life.  I had people around me that cared, and helped, and put things together when I couldn't.  When I finally let myself feel again.  And they are still around me, and there is more light in my life than I probably deserve.

I still have times when the emotions shut down, or I turn them off.   Because that's how I deal with my own stuff.  But at least I have those around me that can lure me back out of the darkness.  And though I don't say it to them often enough, they mean the world to me.

I said I was going to start this, and forgot about it.

Story of my life, I get an idea, then I forget about it.  I had posted a couple of weeks ago about wanting to start a new challenge.  Similar in concept as the 30 Days of Gratitude, in so far as it challenges you to post something every single day, and lays down specific grid work for it.  Not very random I know, but in randomly changing the rules of randomness, I'm still being random.  Did you follow that?  Good.

Day number one asks for an introduction.  So, here I go.

About Me

I have been called many things in my life, not all of them flattering.  But, haven't we all?  I find myself coming full circle again, and entering another stage of evolution, and self re-invention.  The core "me" is still there of course, but priorities have changed over the past 16 or so years, as have my dreams and goals.

I'm not out to rewrite the book of life.  I don't profess to know everything, or to be infallible.  I am what I am.  I have my core family that I'm extremely proud of.  I have the best support group anyone could ever hope to have.  I have my faith, though to some; my faith would label me a heretic, heathen, misguided fool, but that's OK.  The folks that call me that, are usually a bit misguided themselves.

My goal here is to write not just what interests me, or ticks me off in general.  It's a running dialogue of life...my life, and my place in the greater universal society.  Some things I may say, could potentially offend some.  If that's the case, I apologize in advance.  Not for my being offensive, but rather for some people's inability to keep an open mind.

I am outspoken, I tend to say what I think, even if I don't always pre-think what I'm going to say.
I'm looking forward to seeing what this blog grows into.  Thank you for taking time out of your day, and joining me on my journey through life, be ye casual visitor, or someone who has clicked the follow button.
---


If that looks familiar, it's because it's taken from my About Me page.  Is that cheating?  No, not really, because maybe someone has neglected clicking on it, and haven't read my introduction yet.
*cackle*

Aparently I am still human.

Mood: Weary
Listening To: Rolling in the Deep - Adele
Word of the Day: Research

So we went pretty hard core on the British Home Children research today. 
I discovered, with a bit of relief, that I am still human. LOL  I've got this ability, when I'm researching, or if I witness horrible things, I can shut my emotions down.  I guess more accurately, I can shut down the non analytical portions of my emotions.  Makes me kind of cold and detached, but it helps me sectionalize what I'm assimilating and deal with it "rationally"  It's kind of scary actually.  It's a habit I got into a long time ago.

Anyways, I'm digressing.  So we're working through H's this week...feels like we've been on H's for ever.  And we get to this one particular boy, that we're having trouble cracking.  I almost wish he had stayed giving us trouble.  It's always a horrible thing when you think of them being picked up off the streets in England, or ripped away from their families, and shipped on a 10 day voyage across the Atlantic...or worse, Australia.  But I can deal.  It was 100 years ago.  What we're doing is working on preserving the memories, so that they aren't forgotten, but I'm not physically involved with them.
I get working through his life's journey.  He was born in 1891, his parents died, he was sent to Canada to work on a farm in 1899.  In 1912 he married, his first son was born in 1813, a child died in infancy in 1814, and his second son to survive was born in 1915, and named after him.
He went to war in 1916 and died a year later.  His wife remarries in 1918 which I don't blame her for, she's got 2 small children to care for, and I'm sure her first husband shared some horror stories about what happens when you can't take care of your kids.
It was actually through her remarriage that I discovered the kids.  So that was the first can of worms opened up.

In for a penny in for a pound, I start tracking the kids.  Child #1, I can't find beyond 1921, but that's the latest Census for Canada to have been released, so I won't find him for another 10 years due to the reg's that bind the Censuses.  Child #2 however, I get a hit on in 1943...uh oh...it's a Death Cert.
1943, Death Cert...shit...he died in WW2.  Oh, and look, HE's married.
This is when humanity kicked back in.  The 2ms it took to realize that this child I had found, of this orphaned, exiled boy, and was named for his father, had also died in a World War...that brought down the icy wall around my emotions.
He enlisted in or about 1943, or was Drafted...I haven't figured out which yet.  He was sent first to England, where he obviously met a young lady in Surrey, and they Married.  Now, with records being what they are, I don't know if he married her because she was with child, or if they had a whirl wind romance where they fell madly in love.  Less than 2 months after marrying this girl, he's in Sicily, and dies.

Ok, time to regroup.  Meanwhile, my wonderful taskmistress...uh research leader, sends me a link, and shows me that not only did one child come over in 1899, another followed after in 1903.  He had a brother.  Of course he had a brother! *forehead smacking commenced*  So, I traced the trail of the brother until we got all the details for him.  I know Layne does this every day, 8-12 hours a day, and sees things much more horrible than I do on the 2 days a week I'm helping her.  But this one family, it just crushed me mentally for a brief moment in time.

And thus, my humanity has been reaffirmed.
*falls over*